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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28876992">Shadow</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicedGold/pseuds/SpicedGold'>SpicedGold</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Nara Family [33]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>All aboard the Feels train, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Original deer characters, Shikaku saw Shikatema coming a mile off</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:21:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,705</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28876992</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicedGold/pseuds/SpicedGold</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For as long as Shikamaru had been alive, he had known that shadows meant something important to his family.</p>
<p>His father’s shadow was different.</p>
<p>His shadow was a deer.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Implied Nara Shikamaru/Temari, Nara Shikaku/Nara Yoshino</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Nara Family [33]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1160966</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>179</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shikamaru had stomped out of the house in the biggest sulk since he was five years old, and Yoshino had yelled after him to eat something with his team if he was going to storm off like a moody teen, and Shikaku just sat quietly and tried not to smile too much.</p>
<p>“What is the matter with that boy?” Yoshino grumbled, and without a recalcitrant son to take her irritation out on, she viciously scrubbed the breakfast dishes instead.</p>
<p>“He doesn’t want to be Chuunin,” Shikaku replied easily.</p>
<p>“What did he think was going to happen by taking the Chuunin exams?”</p>
<p>“Asuma made him do it.”</p>
<p>“Because he’s a smart boy, and the village needs people like him in charge. He can stop whining about his promotion and be proud of himself – he was the only one to pass, and that means something.”</p>
<p>Yoshino grumbled on, and Shikaku just nodded and agreed with her, because that was the easiest. She snipped about Shikamaru, and he would finish his breakfast and prepare for the day, and probably get yelled at for being lazy, and that was how life went.</p>
<p>“And what time are you coming home tonight?” Yoshino asked after muttering about Shikamaru for a while longer. “Are you missing dinner, <em>again</em>, or bothering to show up for it?”</p>
<p>Shikaku shrugged lazily. “No idea.”</p>
<p>“Be home for dinner, or I’m locking you out the house and you can sleep in the forest.”</p>
<p>“Leave a blanket out, then.”</p>
<p>She sent him a swift glare, and he replied with a slow grin. After a moment of staring at him and deciding if it was worth it to continue arguing, she shook her head.</p>
<p>Since the Sand and Sound villages had launched their attack on Konoha, there had been a lot for Shikaku to do. A lot of thinking, a lot of planning, a lot of deflecting the less than subtle hints that he become Hokage (As much as Shikamaru was baulking at his Chuunin promotion, Shikaku was defending his own position as Jounin. Hokage was too much work. Too much pressure. And not the kind of job for a Nara.)</p>
<p>His stag was waiting for him at the front door, and Yoshino yelled out her final parting shot of, “You cannot take that deer to work with you!”</p>
<p>Shikaku ignored her. He tapped his fingers under the stag’s chin affectionately, and began his stroll into the centre of the village.</p>
<p>“Jani,” he said leisurely, and the deer kept pace at his side and cocked an ear at the sound of his name, “Shikamaru got promoted. And he’s been sulking about it since it happened.”</p>
<p>The stag snorted softly.</p>
<p>“Yeah, he’s not pleased with it. And we still don’t have a new Hokage.” Shikaku shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked through a wrecked village, and glanced at the deer. “You wanna do it? I’m sure you’d be a good leader.”</p>
<p>The stag did not reply, and Shikaku smiled softly to himself as he walked. He left Jani outside the Hokage building, helpfully nibbling the hedges, and prepared himself for another day of verbal jousting, and thought maybe he should put Asuma’s name forward as Hokage if only to see how Shikamaru reacted to the suggestion. The boy was in a foul mood as it was, grumbling over change, and it might be amusing to prod him a bit with the idea that his sensei was going to change as well.</p>
<p>Might as well have some fun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The village might be in disrepair, and the council might be nagging him about being Hokage, and Shikaku might have been helpfully deflecting them onto Jiraiya, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t meet his team for a drink after work.</p>
<p>A drink, snacks courtesy of Chouza, and a chuckle over Shikamaru’s continued disdain for his new position.</p>
<p>“Is Shikamaru still complaining over his promotion?” Inoichi asked, peering into his glass as though something suspect might be hiding in his beer.</p>
<p>“Yes. You know him.” Shikaku didn’t bother to hide his smirk around his team.</p>
<p>“Ino’s says he’s infuriating,” Inoichi grinned.</p>
<p>“Shikamaru needed this promotion,” Chouza said. “He needed something to motivate him.”</p>
<p>“True,” Inoichi sent Shikaku a sidelong glance. “He doesn’t have a nagging wife to get him in line. Perhaps more responsibility will help.”</p>
<p>“He’s doing fine,” Shikaku said mildly, ignoring the implication that Yoshino was the only reason Shikaku got out of bed in the mornings. (She was.) He held out a chip for Jani, and the stag reached his head through the window of the pub and took it delicately between his lips.</p>
<p>“Why do you waste chips on a deer?” Chouza asked despairingly.</p>
<p>“It’s not just a deer,” Shikaku replied. “It’s Jani.”</p>
<p>“He’s still a deer,” Inoichi raised an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“He’s more than that,” Shikaku smiled fondly at the animal. Jani stretched his neck out again, and Chouza reluctantly handed over a second chip. It was normal to have the stag hanging around when Shikaku was in the pub, and not unusual for other patrons to spoil him occasionally. He didn’t come inside as often as he used to as a youngster, since nowadays he had an impressive set of widely spanning antlers on his head, but wherever Shikaku was, the deer was never far behind.</p>
<p>“Is Ino working in the shop today?” Shikaku asked.</p>
<p>“Yes.” Inoichi eyed him. “Why?”</p>
<p>“Need some flowers.”</p>
<p>“For what?”</p>
<p>“Yesterday was Jani’s birthday,” Shikaku answered cryptically.</p>
<p>“Ah, of course,” Chouza chuckled. “And you’re going to give him flowers as a gift?”</p>
<p>“Something like that,” Shikaku tossed back the rest of his beer, and after a few more minutes of chatting to his team, he made his way off to the flower shop.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They walked home side by side, as they always did, and Shikaku let Jani into the house.</p>
<p>“No deer in the kitchen,” Yoshino said, the instant she caught sight of him.</p>
<p>“It’s Jani; he doesn’t count.” Shikaku kept the flowers behind his back. “It was his birthday yesterday.”</p>
<p>“I remember,” Yoshino said mildly, moving away to fuss around the kitchen.</p>
<p>Shikaku followed her. “Are you pretending not to know why I’m bringing it up?”</p>
<p>Yoshino turned to face him, hands on her hips. “Shikaku, this village was falling apart. Things have been chaos. In times like this, personal matters get pushed aside.”</p>
<p>He shrugged one shoulder, and pulled the bouquet of flowers from behind his back, holding them out. “Happy anniversary.”</p>
<p>Yoshino’s exasperated sigh was punctuated with a fond smile.</p>
<p>“Just because the village is falling apart doesn’t mean I don’t know what day it is.” He smiled at her. “And you survived another year with me; that deserves celebration.”</p>
<p>She took the flowers from him, feeling her bad mood melt away.</p>
<p>“I still love you,” he said. “Even when things are going wrong. You mean more to me than the village, so I wouldn’t forget something like this just because I’ve been busy and trying to get everything back on track.”</p>
<p>“And because you never forget Jani’s birthday, which is a handy reminder about our anniversary,” she pointed out.</p>
<p>“It’s a helpful hint, yes.”</p>
<p>“Do you love me more than you love Jani?”</p>
<p>He pretended to think. “Hm . . . Can it be a tie?”</p>
<p>Yoshino laughed, shaking her head and moving forward to <em>thunk</em> against his chest. “You big goof.”</p>
<p>He closed his arms around her. “I love you.”</p>
<p>“I love you, too. Thank you for putting up with me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shikaku was out the village when Shikamaru left on his first Chuunin mission, but he made it back at roughly the same time, and got the summary of events from Kakashi before seeking out his son at the hospital.</p>
<p>He took a moment to wait in the shadows and listen, because Shikamaru was talking to that girl from Suna who had been such a challenge during his exam, and he was fascinated by the way they interacted. It almost made him reluctant to break up their conversation to give Shikamaru a hard life lesson, but he knew Shikamaru was listening to him and taking him seriously, and moments to motivate Shikamaru were few and far between.</p>
<p>Shikaku went home to let Yoshino know everything was going to be fine eventually – it wasn’t fine yet, and when Shikamaru stomped home he went straight onto the roof and refused to talk to anyone.</p>
<p>“He did great,” Shikaku said later that evening, sitting on the porch with Yoshino beside him. “It was just an unlucky mission.”</p>
<p>He gazed out at the forest, and whistled sharply. There was a pause of nothingness, then Jani came bounding through the brush. He folded himself onto his knees and lay down, resting his head on Shikaku’s lap.</p>
<p>“Is he going to come down?” Yoshino asked, glancing at the roof where Shikamaru had situated himself.</p>
<p>“I’ll get him down in a minute.” Shikaku pulled lightly on Jani’s ears. He and Yoshino sat in companionable silence until the sun had faded, then she rose up and turned on the outside light, predicting his next move. Before he could ask, she brought the Shogi board out and set it in front of him.</p>
<p>“Go easy on him,” she said. “I’ll be in bed when you’re done.”</p>
<p>Shikaku kissed her goodnight, and walked around the house, peering up at the roof. Shikamaru knew he was there, but remained stubbornly silent.</p>
<p>“Come and play,” Shikaku said.</p>
<p>“You can’t solve every problem playing Shogi,” Shikamaru replied sharply, and Shikaku had to fight down a grin at the acerbic response. Oh, Shikamaru was in an awful mood, and now that he knew everyone on the mission would be fine, Shikaku was finding it amusing.</p>
<p>“You can solve a lot of them, though.”</p>
<p>Eventually, Shikamaru climbed down from the roof and sat down in a grumpy slouch.</p>
<p>Jani lay down against Shikaku’s back as he set the board. He didn’t say anything, as Shikamaru had heard it all already. He just needed time.</p>
<p>Shikaku moved the first tile, then rested his hand on Jani’s neck while Shikamaru stared at the board as though it held all the answers. Slowly, he was working his way through the mission, in a calmer frame of mind, and figuring out where his mistakes were, where he could improve, where he could change strategies so that no one was harmed next time.</p>
<p>Shikaku almost thought of letting him win the game.</p>
<p>Shikamaru’s hand shook slightly when he moved the tiles, but Shikaku didn’t point it out.</p>
<p>He just leant against Jani, and watched Shikamaru with a critical gaze.</p>
<p>Shikamaru stayed quiet. Shikaku didn’t like that. His son had a tendency to bottle things up, and needed help getting talking.</p>
<p>“So,” he started, and Shikamaru flinched at the sound of his voice. “That girl from the Sand . . .”</p>
<p>Shikamaru met his eyes warily. “What about her?”</p>
<p>“Seems like a nice girl.”</p>
<p>“She’s horrible.”</p>
<p>Jani snorted, and Shikaku rubbed the stag’s ears. “Really? I thought she seemed nice.”</p>
<p>Shikamaru huffed out a breath. “She’s troublesome.”</p>
<p>Shikaku fought down a grin. He just nodded. “Best stay away from her, then.”</p>
<p>“That’s the plan,” Shikamaru muttered.</p>
<p>Shikaku scratched at Jani’s forehead. “Yes, wouldn’t want to deviate from the plan . . .”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh my god, I completely forgot about the Suna ambassador arriving today,” Tsunade threw her hands in the air, sending a flurry of papers awry. “Why the fuck is everything happening all at once?”</p>
<p>“If you need someone to meet her,” Shikaku began innocently. “Shikamaru isn’t on a mission today.”</p>
<p>“Shikamaru,” Tsunade repeated slowly. “. . . Attempting to be diplomatic? Are you trying to start a war?”</p>
<p>“He’s on the Chuunin exam committee anyway,” Shikaku said reasonably. “Why use two people for a job when one will do?”</p>
<p>Tsunade narrowed her eyes. “You do know <em>Temari</em> is coming?”</p>
<p>“Is she?” he cocked his head to the side. “I had no idea. I’m sure it will be fine.”</p>
<p>Tsunade shrugged. “Okay, whatever. He can have the mission. But if they kill each other, I’m blaming you.”</p>
<p>The office door chose that moment to open, and Shikamaru himself poked his head in with an annoyed frown. “Hey, so, the mission I was meant to do today got cancelled, so can I go home and-“</p>
<p>“You’re needed at the village gates,” Tsunade said flatly. “New mission. Don’t screw it up.”</p>
<p>Shikaku patted his son on the shoulder as he walked past him out of the office. “Pity about that mission being cancelled. Don’t be late for dinner.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shikaku leafed through a few Jounin reports absently, strolling through the Hokage building with Jani at his side. It was after hours, and no one objected to the presence of a deer inside.</p>
<p>Shikaku was stalling, wondering how much time he could waste in order to see how late Shikamaru and Temari stayed in the decryption rooms ‘discussing things’, as Shikamaru had put it. Shikaku knew they were just talking – and had been for the Suna shinobi’s last several visits - but it was amusing to see how long Shikamaru could talk for when the other half of the conversation was Temari. They could spend hours chatting idly.</p>
<p>“He thinks we think he’s working,” Shikaku said conversationally, and Jani huffed agreeably. “But we both know that they just like being around each other. He’s just too stubborn to admit that he enjoys time with her.”</p>
<p>Jani butted his head into Shikaku’s elbow, and he absently raised an arm for the deer to nuzzle under.</p>
<p>When it was past eight o’clock, Shikaku and Jani went home, to be greeted by instant yelling.</p>
<p>“Where have you been?” Yoshino asked. “Where is Shikamaru? What on earth is he doing that takes so long? Why is Jani in the house <em>again</em>?”</p>
<p>“Shikamaru got caught up at work,” Shikaku said, scratching Jani behind the ears. “He might be a while longer. Things were more complicated than he thought.”</p>
<p>“Again?” Yoshino growled. “I’m starting to think Suna needs better management, because Shikamaru is <em>always</em> home late when he’s working with that village on projects.”</p>
<p>“I hadn’t noticed,” Shikaku said. “What a strange coincidence.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After dinner, Jani lay flat out on the grass outside, and Shikaku lay against the deer’s stomach and watched the stars and mused his way through the village’s plans and expectations for the week. It was creeping in on eleven o’clock when Jani lifted his head, ears swiveling forwards.</p>
<p>Shikaku watched his son sneak along the side of the house and hop in his bedroom window.</p>
<p>He snorted. “Like we didn’t know he was still out. I’m not sure how long he thinks he can keep the fact that he likes that Sand Princess hidden, but he better start coming up with better excuses for staying out so late.”</p>
<p>Jani lay his head down again.</p>
<p>Shikaku patted the deer firmly, and stood up, stretching leisurely.</p>
<p>“Goodnight, Jani,” he said, and the stag replied with a soft snort, watching him as he wandered into the house.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Pain’s attack left Konoha destroyed, after he had a moment to think, Shikaku rushed home to see what had been spared. He found his house – at the very edge of the village – mostly intact, and Yoshino barking orders at the clan. She was directing people to get into Konoha’s centre to help, others to help those that needed medical attention, others to begin the long, herculean task of cleanup.</p>
<p>He stopped to watch her for a few minutes, flooded with relief that she was okay. He waited patiently, until her snapping and delegating finally caused her to turn to face him, and her entire façade melted into relief.</p>
<p>He opened his arms and she barreled into him, gripping tight.</p>
<p>“You’re okay,” she mumbled into his chest.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Shikamaru?”</p>
<p>“He’s at the medical tents. He’s broken his leg, but he’ll be fine.”</p>
<p>She nodded.</p>
<p>“The clan?”</p>
<p>“A few injured, no one dead,” she drew her head back to look at him. “You’re not hurt?”</p>
<p>“Nothing some sleep won’t fix,” he assured.</p>
<p>She stepped away from him, nodding. “Okay. Good. I’m nearly done here, and then I can go and see Shikamaru.”</p>
<p>“How much forest did we lose?” He looked at the house.</p>
<p>“I haven’t checked much of it. The deer all ran.”</p>
<p>The fawns weren’t fast. And trees had been falling, and the ground rippling, and rocks jutting out of nowhere. He glanced at Yoshino. “Did you see Jani?”</p>
<p>“He took off with the does near the house. He had them gathered before the tremours even started.”</p>
<p>Good boy. Good leader. Shikaku nodded. “I’ll go find him. I’ll meet you at the medical tents later. Those are the only tents up at the moment, so Shikamaru shouldn’t be hard to find.”</p>
<p>Yoshino nodded. Before she turned away, she gripped him firmly and pulled him down for a searing kiss, and Shikaku grinned at her.</p>
<p>“Aw, were you worried about me?”</p>
<p>“You looked like you needed a kiss.”</p>
<p>“I did.” He nodded. “One more?”</p>
<p>She complied.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jani did not come when he whistled.</p>
<p>Shikaku whistled again, standing at the edge of the forest, and waited. There was a twitchy, nervous-looking doe ahead of him, and she jumped and bolted as he began walking.</p>
<p>Shikaku figured Jani would head for the clearing, to lower the risk of a tree falling on the youngsters. If he wasn’t there, he would have bolted for the border of the forest, and would come back when he thought it was safe.</p>
<p>Shikaku passed little clumps of deer as he walked, and they were all tense and on edge, and refused to approach him.</p>
<p>There were a lot of deer in the clearing, and to Shikaku’s relief, Jani was there, near the lake. He was standing hunched, with his head down.</p>
<p>“Jani,” Shikaku called softly. “Hey, pal, you okay there?”</p>
<p>The other deer shifted restlessly.</p>
<p>Shikaku approached slowly, not wanting to startle them further.</p>
<p>Jani stayed still, and as he got closer Shikaku could see the stag’s nose pinched in pain, and the faint tremble throughout his body. He held one hindleg off the ground, and Shikaku could see the fur there dark with blood.</p>
<p>The other deer spooked away, all tense and on edge from the recent destruction.</p>
<p>Carefully, Shikaku kneeled down. There was a deep wound in Jani’s upper leg, that oozed thick blood. Shikaku surmised it had probably been a broken branch.</p>
<p>“Okay,” he said gently. “Let’s get you home. You’ll be fine. Nothing a bit of rest won’t help.”</p>
<p>He eased Jani up onto his shoulders, holding him steady by his legs, and began a slow walk home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shikamaru spent most of his evening complaining.</p>
<p>“I can still help,” he protested, when Yoshino forcibly placed him on the couch and wrenched his crutches away, and pinned him down with a stern glare. “There’s a lot the village needs, and I’m fine-“</p>
<p>“Of all the times to <em>not</em> be a lazy git,” she growled, “You pick now, when you’ve had a shitty patch job done on a broken leg, and should be resting.”</p>
<p>“Other people needed help more,” Shikamaru murmured. “There was no point in wasting time and resources healing me, when I’ll be fine.”</p>
<p>“Rest,” Yoshino ordered. “You can maybe go out again tomorrow and help, but for now, you’ve been told to stay still. The bone isn’t set correctly; moving around could cause more damage.”</p>
<p>“You can help your mother,” Shikaku said, sitting near the fireplace and gently tending to Jani. The stag’s leg had been cleaned and stitched, and Shikaku had finished bandaging it and was letting the animal recline by the fire. “The Nara archives are a mess, and we need to get a complete list of our supplies to the medical personnel. Stay here, and get that done.”</p>
<p>With a last pat to Jani’s neck, Shikaku stood up. “I’m going out to help. Keep an eye on Jani.”</p>
<p>Shikamaru sighed and threw his head back. “Troublesome, but fine.”</p>
<p>Shikaku left Yoshino fussing and nagging, and went back out into the centre of the village to help get things in order. Every able-bodied person was assisting in the rigging of tents for temporary shelter, and he found the gathered group of special Jounin and council members, and took in the situation and began the slow, long task of rebuilding the Leaf.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shikamaru’s leg might have been broken, but his brain was still very much intact, and Shikaku dumped him in the tent designated for official affairs, threw Shiho and a ton of papers at him, and told him to sort out and fix everything.</p>
<p>Shikaku knew he could rely on his son to get whatever task was assigned to him done, and done right, and it meant he could spend his time being useful and making less than subtle exits whenever a council member approached.</p>
<p>“Ask Kakashi,” he said over one shoulder, beating a hasty retreat into the medical tent under the pretense of delivering supplies. “Naras are not meant to be Hokage.”</p>
<p>Sakura caught the tail end of that conversation, and lifted her head from a patient. “I think you’d be a good Hokage.”</p>
<p>“Shh,” he replied. “Don’t tell anyone.”</p>
<p>He checked the tent, making a note of what they needed. “Supplies are looking low.”</p>
<p>“Shikamaru has already asked for help from Suna. They’re sending supplies and a few shinobi to help.”</p>
<p>“Are they now?” There were closer places to get supplies from. Shikamaru was as subtle as a brick to the face.</p>
<p>Shikaku went home with a secret smile, and quietly checked Jani’s wound.</p>
<p>“What are you looking so smug about?” Yoshino asked suspiciously. She handed him a clean bandage, and knelt at Jani’s hip to oversee his injury.</p>
<p>“Shikamaru,” Shikaku kept his eyes down on the deer, but he was smirking.</p>
<p>“What’s that boy done now?”</p>
<p>“Nothing yet.”</p>
<p>“Then what is he going to do?”</p>
<p>“I can’t tell you,” Shikaku’s eyes gleamed. “Otherwise it won’t happen.”</p>
<p>Yoshino heaved an irritated sigh. “Fine. Don’t tell me.”</p>
<p>Shikaku kept a hand laid gently on Jani’s flank to comfort him. “I’ll tell you in a few years.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was not long after that when the world began crumbling around them once again.</p>
<p>Shikaku whistled one day, and Jani was close by and came bounding up to him with a springy step and expectantly pricked ears.</p>
<p>“Jani,” he said, kneeling down in front of the deer. “I have to go away for a while. I have a war to fight. And in every war, there’s a chance I won’t make it back to you. I’ll do my best, but if I don’t,” he gently stroked the animal’s cheek. “Then you need to watch over the forest, and keep an eye on Shikamaru, and look after Yoshino, okay? They’ll need you.”</p>
<p>Jani snuffled lightly.</p>
<p>“You’re a good boy, and my best friend, so keep my family safe until I’m home.” He leant his forehead gently against the stag’s, and Jani leaned into him as well, standing very still. “You’ve been my shadow since you were born, and I love you very, very much.”</p>
<p>They stayed close for a while, with Shikaku focusing on the feel of Jani’s fur and the rhythm of the deer’s breathing, and Jani satisfied to just stand with his best friend and be near him. Theirs had always been an uncomplicated relationship, one built from merely being near the other, and both relished the closeness.</p>
<p>“Be safe,” Shikaku murmured eventually. “I’ll see you soon.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The night before the war he sat at the small desk in their bedroom, writing notes and checking papers.</p>
<p>Yoshino lay in bed, pretending to read, but mostly watching him.</p>
<p>“This is for Shikamaru,” he said, late in the evening, holding up a folded note. “For when he gets married.”</p>
<p>“He’s never getting married. He doesn’t like girls.”</p>
<p>Shikaku nodded. “Then it can sit in this box forever.” He placed the note and his silver chain in a small wooden box. “But if he does get married, don’t forget to give it to him.”</p>
<p>“Don’t talk like that,” she murmured. “Don’t make it sound like you’ll die.”</p>
<p>He closed the box gently and turned to face her. “I’m not going out there to die. I’m going out there to fight, and hopefully win, because if we lose, then you get hurt and that’s not something I’m willing to let happen. But people die in wars, and if it comes down to a choice between me and saving Shikamaru,” he approached her slowly. “I’m going to make sure I get him home safely to you.”</p>
<p>“Come home with him,” Yoshino said.</p>
<p>“That’s the plan,” he said lightly, pulling back the blankets and lying beside her. “But wars don’t always go according to plan.”</p>
<p>They slept close together that night, wrapped up in one another and trying desperately to block out the thoughts of things that could go wrong.</p>
<p>Shikaku rose early the next morning, and wandered outside to sit with Jani in the cool morning air, and look at the forest, and just think his way through the next few days.</p>
<p>“Be good while I’m gone,” he said eventually, fingers running along Jani’s smooth hair. “Look after the forest for me.”</p>
<p>Jani followed him into the house, and stood at his shoulder while he ate breakfast. The house was sombre and quiet. Shikaku fed Jani little bits of his breakfast, and although Yoshino narrowed her eyes at him, she said nothing.</p>
<p>It felt different to usual, and Jani pressed close to Shikaku’s side, inexplicably nervous.</p>
<p>He hovered when Shikaku said goodbye to Yoshino, in a softer voice and longer murmurs than was normal, with gentle kisses and long embraces, and Jani crooned gently for attention.</p>
<p>Shikaku knelt down in front of the deer, taking his face in his hands. “Be a good boy, Jani. Be my best boy.”</p>
<p>Jani stayed at Yoshino’s side as they left, feeling a tug of need to follow, but staying where he was while Yoshino’s hand trembled on his back. Both Shikamaru and Shikaku looked back, and Jani raised his head proudly, ears trained forwards.</p>
<p>Yoshino turned to go back inside, trailing her hand along Jani’s back. “Come on, Jani. I guess all we can do now is wait.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jani waited near the house, nibbling at the blackberry bushes and snuffling through the undergrowth for anything interesting. He waited for a few days, watching for Shikaku’s return. He wandered out of sight, and wandered back again, and stood stock still for hours with his head held high and his ears perked, and waited for the whistle that would let him know Shikaku was home.</p>
<p>He saw Yoshino and Shikamaru, and he waited some more.</p>
<p>He came up to the porch to wait with them when Shikamaru sat and stared at nothing and Yoshino moved listlessly and lost, and he wondered how much longer he had to wait.</p>
<p>He tried to call. He placed his front hooves on the porch and bellowed at the back door, but the only one who came out was Yoshino, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and cried into his fur.</p>
<p>And Jani waited for Shikaku.</p>
<p>He followed Shikamaru to work, and spent the day outside the Hokage building, ears up and ready. Shikaku would come out soon. They would walk home together. But Shikamaru came out alone again, and gave Jani a sad and unreadable look, and encouraged him home again with a gentle hand on his back.</p>
<p>So Jani waited.</p>
<p>He trotted the perimeter of the forest, in case they crossed paths, and he checked the house, and he crept through the village, following the usual routes. He put his head through the pub window, and he jogged past Inoichi’s house – which was quieter than usual – and he sprinted in a sudden frenzy to Chouza, but Shikaku wasn’t there either.</p>
<p>When Yoshino spent the day gardening, in near silence, he stayed next to her. She glanced at the door every now and then, and maybe she was waiting, too. So Jani waited with her.</p>
<p>They would wait together.</p>
<p>They would wait together while the season changed, and the moon cycled, and the younger fawns grew and new ones were born.</p>
<p>It couldn’t be long to wait, now.</p>
<p>Jani checked his paths frequently, looking through the forest, and circling the village, and waiting near the gates, and he had a spot under a tree near the Hokage building where he could lie down and wait, and Shikamaru would give him an apple and a few soft words that he couldn’t understand.</p>
<p>Shikamaru didn’t seem to be waiting.</p>
<p>Jani pushed his way into the house one day, and Yoshino said nothing. She just stood back and allowed him to peruse the rooms and search. Jani could <em>smell</em> him, but couldn’t find him, and he searched for a long time, until finally stopping uncertainly in the bedroom and warbling a distressed noise.</p>
<p>Yoshino sat on the edge of the bed, and let Jani rest his head on her shoulder, and she wrapped her arms loosely around his neck.</p>
<p>She was saying something, but Jani was still looking, eyes darting around.</p>
<p>Her words sounded like ‘He’s not coming back,’ but Jani didn’t know what that meant.</p>
<p>Maybe he just needed to wait more.</p>
<p>So he did.</p>
<p>He spent the night curled on the bedroom floor, and Yoshino didn’t ask him to leave, and they waited together.</p>
<p>More moons passed and more seasons changed, and Jani stopped waiting at the Hokage building, and stayed in the forest, certain that Shikaku would find him as soon as he came home.</p>
<p>He searched the forest, sometimes meandering quietly, sometimes at a frantic gallop.</p>
<p>But he returned to the house frequently, to wait patiently.</p>
<p>Sometimes he and Yoshino waited together. Sometimes he waited with Shikamaru. Sometimes he waited all alone.</p>
<p>Shikaku’s smell was fading from everything, and Jani nosed hopelessly at the doors and windows, and wondered where the smell had gone, because it had always been renewed before. He tapped his antlers against the glass, and called loudly, and waited in shivering anticipation for an answering whistle that never came.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One day Yoshino called him softly, and they walked together to a place Jani had never been. It was grassy and smelled like flowers, even though there were no flowers growing there. But there were lots of peculiar shaped stones, and Yoshino led him to one of them, and Jani pushed his nose against the name engraved there.</p>
<p>He didn’t know what it meant, but something about it must be important. Yoshino looked at it sadly, and spoke to him, and he listened, but he didn’t know what he was listening to.</p>
<p>Maybe this was the place they needed to wait at.</p>
<p>So Jani settled down, tucking his legs under his body, and resting his chin against the stone. It was smooth and cool, and it had little salty raindrops peppered over it even though it hadn’t rained in a while. Yoshino sat with him and murmured to him, and he thought that they had been waiting for a long time now.</p>
<p>He stayed after she left, curled like a fawn awaiting its parents’ return.</p>
<p>Chouza came to the grassy place as well, and Jani scrambled to his feet in a rush, because Shikaku was commonly with him, and maybe the waiting was over. He inspected Chouza carefully, looked behind him, and cocked his head at him, and wondered about the sad expression on his face and the things he said in a heavy voice.</p>
<p>When night fell, Jani went home, and stood on the back porch, and looked in the windows.</p>
<p>Just Yoshino and Shikamaru.</p>
<p>He turned away and disappeared into the brush, making the long journey to the forest border. He searched for several days, stopping to call out hopelessly, wandering far outside of his usual territory, before finally making a slower, dejected path home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A lot of things changed.</p>
<p>Shikamaru started bringing someone new into the forest, and Jani learnt her smell and sound. He would watch her from a distance, learning who she was, and he would come running when Shikamaru whistled, just in case it wasn’t Shikamaru this time.</p>
<p>One day it would be Shikaku, Jani was sure.</p>
<p>Shikamaru brought a curious small person to show him one day, and Jani snuffled him and let tiny hands wander over his face and clutch at his ears. It wasn’t the person Jani was waiting for, but he liked this small thing, and he felt the need to protect it and watch over it.</p>
<p>So he stayed a bit closer to the house, and stopped going on long searches.</p>
<p>Jani’s world slowly drew duller, veiled in grey, and sometimes when he pricked his ears and listened, no sounds reached him. But he could smell his way around, and he knew where the trees were, and the other deer helped guide him when he was uncertain.</p>
<p>Sometimes he thought he heard Shikaku’s whistle, and he galloped through the trees and called, and waited, and called some more. But those were nothing but phantoms of his past, and wishes never to be fulfilled, and so he stood tall and proud and <em>waited</em>.</p>
<p>He could feel a pulling sensation deep in his bones, like the earth was trying to reclaim him. He didn’t want to go. He still had to wait.</p>
<p>Shikaku would come home <em>soon</em>.</p>
<p>Stiff legged and greying, he sought out Yoshino, and warbled gentle noises at her, and pushed his nose against her arm until she stroked him. Getting up was hard, so he stayed standing, leaning against her, blinking slowly. They could wait together once more, he thought.</p>
<p>Just one more time, and then tomorrow he would relax on the grass near the house and wait with Shikamaru.</p>
<p>Yoshino let him stay against her, gently running her fingers down his face and neck, and he closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation. He knew she whispered to him, but the words were just caresses of wind and he couldn’t make out the sounds.</p>
<p>He didn’t need to. Somewhere, deep inside him, he knew exactly what she was trying to say.</p>
<p>“He’s waiting for you, too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
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